Girls will be girls.

Recently I have been spending a ton of time with my nieces. As Clint and Jodi have moved into their house, I have been the designated girl watcher. This means that we have girls day just about every day. Last Saturday, Clint and Jodi had to run to Chandler to pick up a pool fence and they asked if they could drop Lily and Jenna off at my house to play for the day. I wasn’t even awake, so blurry eyed I walked outside and picked them up.

Now, for those of you who do not know Lily or Jenna, they are THE girlest little girls you have ever met. The first thing they want to do is play with high heel shoes. Lily always says, “the back doesn’t fit quite yet.” and it always surprises her. Lily then pulled out my bra and wanted to put it on which means Jenna wanted to wear one to. Poor girls, they want to wear bras so bad. I just let them know that soon enough they would have to. I asked Jodi when the obsession with bras had started and it was when Lindy was packing for Hawaii and we were making them wear Lindy’s bras as hats.

My interactions with them have caused me to reflect on each of us as children of our Heavenly Father. There is such an innocence and trust that they demonstrate. Everything is fascinating and the world that they live in is full of wonder and miracles. I want that. I have become more cynical of life situations that present themselves instead of just embracing the good, having faith that it will work out and watching the magic unfold for me. For this life is magic. It is full of beautiful skies, breathtaking technologies and love. What is more magical than love. It has the power to bring us peace and comfort. This unique love comes from our families, friends and Jesus Christ.

Why??

Because.

It mattereth not...

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered" - Nelson Mandela. This has always been one of my favorite quotes. The insightful nature of it almost anyone can relate to.

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend the home ward I grew up in. It was a great time to see old friends and recount the wonderful memories of my childhood. One of the comments that I continued to get was that I hadn’t changed much. I took great pride in this. I still look 18 years old. Then, one woman said, it was because I did not have any responsibilities. So much for feeling good about it, then that feeling only lasted a minute. I decided it did not matter what she thought or said, I knew the truth about my life. I had changed. I had grown and matured and become someone unswayed by a perceived insensitive comment.

It reminds me of the letters exchanged between Pahoran and Moroni during a time of war. Moroni writes and condemns Pahoran for neglecting them. Pahoran’s response is one of compassion and understanding. Essentially he says, it mattereth not. I was grateful in that moment to be in a place where I can say, it mattereth not.

How do we get to this place? I don’t have a clue, but it is a lovely place to be.

Who loves red more...Me or Jenna?

There is an old saying, when one door closes...look for the open window. I decided it was best not to have windows at all then I don't have to look for them. I have also realized, I am a Jeep girl. If there was one car that defines me, that would be it. I have been in love with them for as long as I can remember. It is really nice to own one again, even if it does lack windows.

I am not sure who loves this new Jeep more, me or Clint's kids and Jenna in paticular. I will say one thing, Jeep, butter, AZ heat and tiny hands don't mix well. What you get is tiny finger imprints in all the cubes of butter.

Wake with Refreshments...

Another One Bites the Dust

In memorium, the Green Monster of Phoenix, Arizona was abruptly taken from this world after a ferocious battle with a concrete barrier. It limped home where it finally rested, for the last time, in the parking place it called home for the last 3 years. It was preceded in death by the Jeep, AKA Tramp Truck. Please post your favorite memories on the wall to commemorate it's short, but eventful life.

If my life were a bumper sticker, what would I say?

Have you ever thought about bumper stickers?  I mean, REALLY thought about them?  Bumper stickers tell so much about a person.  They announce to the world political beliefs, religious views, relationship issues and environmental commentary.  Evaluating these labels people put on themselves is highly entertaining.  When you see a car with "Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."; "What if the hockey pokey really is what it's all about."  or "Don't you think hard work must have killed someone?", you immediately make a judgement about the people driving the vehicles and their personality.

Labels, like bumper stickers, are a strange thing. No one wants one, yet everyone gets one.  We see it in our associations with other people.  The labels I currently hold are: daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, niece, employee, co-worker and friend.  These are just a few of the most important labels that I try to be good at.  Then there are other things that I don't focus on as much like: customer, stake member,  commuter, Arizona resident and American.  I am not real good at all of these labels that I have been given.  

Unfortunately, there are times we use labels to trap those individuals around us.  We classify and only see them as one thing.  I will always be too young, too old, too smart, too dumb, too sarcastic and the list goes on and on depending on who you talk to.  The first label applied to me in the church is single.  I actually like this label.  I understand it and in a church of families, it is a logical step that it would be the first classification.  The issue isn't the label itself, but the definition and perception of people and what this label means.  It does not mean that all single people are the same with the same needs.  We are not cookie cutter and the experiences that have lead us to this place in life are as diverse as the sands of the sea. 

It is a unenlightened view of the world and our fellow brothers and sisters to group them this way.  For example, a friend of mine teaches institute and she ran into one of her students at a festival where she was taking a lesson on how to play the saw.  Now, I realize that learning to play the saw is not typical situation.  That is what makes this friend phenomenal, her ability to want to experience life and the things it has to offer.  The student that saw her did not recognize her at first because he only saw her as this spiritual giant always thinking and talking about spiritual things and not someone that would be in a hoe down playing the saw.  In reality, that is exactly what we do.  I know I have made those common mistakes when I place labels on people in families.  We need to take a step back and imagine what else these people offer and their situations.  Try to take them out of their normal context to see where we can help them.  

Our perceptions come out in our communications with others, whether we want them to our not.  I have heard every insensitive remark at this point.  Let's see, things like, I choose a career over being married.  As a side note, I am sure that everyone aspires to be a legal assistant.  I would hope that if I was going to choose a career over being married that it would be one that would be worth it.  Ambassador maybe.  Or I am to smart to get married.  I don't even know what that means.  The translations could be numerous, maybe ugly with a great personality or as my friend from college would say, "I have a sweet spirit."  

It is my hope that we can develop a sensitivity to those labels we place on people.  That even though they may carry a particular label, that we get to know the person underneath. This can be applied to anyone we have labeled.  I recently made a rash judgement about someone with a label I placed on him.  I want to repent and do better and will begin now.  I am grateful that the Savior places labels on us.  Labels that are always just, merciful and kind.  I pray I maybe live more fully to merit and inherit the label of being His friend.

Disney owns all the good dreams.

Recently there was speaker who talked of a specific trial in her life.  Her trial to bear was liver cancer.  Her talk was inspirational, but a comment that she made struck a strange cord in me.  Her comment was that the hardest part of her trial was not being able to have children while the rest of her peers were getting pregnant,  That was a more difficult situation than being sick. The moral: being alone  or childless in a church whose focus is on families is painful for those who find themselves on the fringe of society.

When I was invited to make the transition from singles to family ward, it became one of the most difficult transitions I have ever known.  I more fully understand why the church is losing so many during time of transition.   I left everything I had known, friends, leaders, a whole social society and went into a world that was foreign to me.  It would be like moving to Mars.  Being raised in the church, I understood the lingo, had a firm testimony of the living reality of the gospel, but I was at a loss as to how to handle this next phase of my life.  Reflecting on my circumstances, it must be like leaving our heavenly home.  There were people there who loved us, wanted so much for us to have this experience all the while knowing the transition is difficult.  Coming as children and having the veil closed slowly must be a blessing we don't fully understand.  It would be far too painful to leave and have that memory in tact.  I felt like that.  I had left my home, what I knew, where I felt safe.  The parting from my old life was difficult and there was a mourning for lost dreams.  

There are times I feel jipped.  As little girls, all of us dream of that one person who will complete our lives.  Someone who rides in on a white horse, saves the day and we live happily ever after.  Disney owns that dream, the fantasy of the perfect life.  I don't need a white horse, (although it would be nice).  I need someone to share things with, that I can be myself with and someone who knows when I need them and they show up.  I thought I would give anything to bring that into my life.  Sadly, I realize, that is not true.  There are some things I will not give up, my testimony and my faith.  There are times where jealousy rears its ugly head and I have to be vigilant in keeping it reigned in.  Watching my parents or friends together at times is like scrubbing a wound that never quite heals.    

One surprising thing that it brings is hope.  Why?  Because there is still the desire and the drive to have that blessing. Does it make the trial any less painful?  Not usually, but hope does bring brighter days and a contentment to live and to expect that all promised blessings will be given.

A Word is a Word.

During a job interview, my sister was asked the question; "What is your favorite word."  Now, being single for quite sometime, I have heard all the conversation starters, one line evaluating and strange get to know you questions.  Things like "What super power would you have and why" or "If you got to go one place, where would it be?" and my all time favorite, "What would your personalized license plate say?"  I abhor this line of questioning, but sheepishly admit that I have frequently used them when a conversation lags and I can think of NOTHING else to say.  This particular question threw me for a loop.  When she asked me what my word would be, I had a moment of panic.  What would it be.  All thoughts left my mind and I am sure that there was not a word to be found. 

Chartreuse.  This is a cool word.  It just is fun to say and isn't used very often in conversation and prompts people to really listen to you.  

Supercalifragilisticexpaladocious.  One long word and if you can spell it, it should be your favorite.  

Live.  This word always trips me up.  I can never decide when I am reading it if it is live or live.  

Trademark.  Boring.  It only came to mind because I was at work.  

It is said, you should always answer a question with a question and so, I asked her what she said.  The only thought that came to her mind was sack, due to the fact someone expressed their hatred of that particular word and they had to use it in every sentence to irritate her.  Then came her real answer. 

Mom.  

That was her favorite word.  I felt a little ashamed of my pathetic list.  The word Mom is powerful.  It invokes images of life, love, comfort, laughter, kindness.  Everyone relates to the word Mom.  When I think of the word Mom, my thoughts of course go to my own mother who is a strong, compassionate and crazy person.  I have more of her traits then I ever give her credit for.  I am grateful to be called her daughter and more importantly, to be called her friend.